Why Home Leave Can Be Healing And Stressful For Expats
For many expats, the idea of going on home leave stirs up feelings of excitement and joy. After months – or even years – of living abroad, you finally get to visit your home country. It’s a chance to reconnect with loved ones, celebrate festive occasions like Christmas or the Lunar New Year, and indulge in the familiar sights, sounds, and tastes of home. It’s the holiday you’ve been waiting for: a comforting return to your roots.
But while home leave can be incredibly healing, it often comes with its own set of challenges that are rarely talked about. Beneath the surface, expats may face a whirlwind of emotions and stressors. There’s the pressure to make the most of your limited time, the guilt of not being able to see everyone, and the subtle reminders of how life has moved on without you. This bittersweet reality makes home leave a deeply personal experience, full of both joy and complexity.
The healing power of home leave
For expats, returning home offers a sense of grounding. Living abroad can be isolating at times, especially when you’re navigating a foreign culture or missing major milestones in your loved ones’ lives. Going back home allows you to recharge emotionally and physically. Whether it’s sharing a home-cooked meal with family or catching up with childhood friends, these moments provide a sense of belonging that’s hard to replicate elsewhere.
Home leave also gives you the opportunity to reflect on how far you’ve come. The distance from your adopted country often offers perspective on your personal growth. Maybe you’ve learned a new language, adapted to a new job, or developed a deeper appreciation for cultural diversity. Whatever the case, these reflections can be a source of pride and reassurance as you continue your expat journey.
Why home leave can be stressful
Despite its joys, home leave can also be a source of stress. One of the biggest challenges is managing expectations – both yours and others’. Everyone, from your parents to old friends, wants to see you. While their excitement is heartwarming, it can quickly turn into a logistical puzzle of planning meetups, juggling commitments, and trying to fit everything into a short trip.
Additionally, the transition from one cultural environment to another can be jarring. You might find yourself slipping back into old habits or feeling out of sync with friends and family. Over time, expats lose touch with friends and family back home, which can make these reunions feel bittersweet. You may notice changes in relationships that leave you questioning where you belong.
The emotional rollercoaster
Home leave is also an emotional journey. Saying goodbye to loved ones at the end of your trip can feel like a fresh wound, no matter how many times you’ve done it before. For some expats, this can lead to feelings of sadness or even guilt for leaving again. On the flip side, you might feel a sense of relief when returning to your adopted country, as it represents the life you’ve worked so hard to build.
These conflicting emotions are normal but can be exhausting to process. The buildup to home leave, the intensity of the trip, and the adjustment back to your regular life can create a cycle of emotional highs and lows that leaves you feeling drained.
Managing the stresses of home leave
To make the experience smoother, it helps to set realistic expectations. Accept that you won’t be able to see everyone or do everything in one trip – and that’s okay. Prioritise the people and activities that matter most to you, and don’t hesitate to say no if you need time for yourself.
Mindfulness can also be a valuable tool. Taking a few moments each day to check in with your emotions, practise deep breathing, or journal about your experiences can help you stay grounded amidst the chaos. Remember, home leave is as much about self-care as it is about reconnecting with others.
If you’re travelling with a partner, open communication is key. Discuss your plans and feelings ahead of time to ensure you’re on the same page. This is especially important for couples navigating cultural differences or balancing commitments to both sides of the family. For those experiencing deeper challenges, couple therapy in Singapore can provide guidance and support, helping you work through underlying issues together.
When home leave feels overwhelming
Sometimes, the stresses of home leave can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re already dealing with homesickness, culture shock, or personal struggles. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and seek support when needed. Speaking with a professional can help you unpack the emotions tied to home leave and find strategies to cope.
If you’re finding it hard to navigate these complexities, consider online counselling in Singapore. Virtual sessions offer the flexibility to connect with a counsellor from the comfort of your home, making it easier to prioritise your mental health regardless of your location.
Finding balance in the expat life
Ultimately, home leave is a reminder of the balancing act that expat life requires. It’s about cherishing your roots while embracing the new, finding peace in the in-between spaces, and learning to be gentle with yourself. No matter where you are in the world, remember that it’s okay to seek help in navigating this unique journey.
Conclusion
Navigating the highs and lows of home leave is never easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. At The Counselling Place, our international team of experienced counsellors, therapists, life coaches, and psychologists in Singapore can provide you with the space to grow and develop.
