To Move or Not to Move – Are You Ready to Become an Expat?

by Anne Ueberbach
Assistant Director/Counsellor

Uprooting your life to move abroad, becoming an expat, comes with plenty of challenges and rewards, not to mention a wide spectrum of emotions. Whether you are an individual, a couple or a family, the prospect of living in a foreign country can evoke mixed emotions, like excitement for the adventure ahead, anxiety and worry over the “what ifs”, uncertainty about what truly awaits you, and a little bit of fear whether the right decision was made.

So how do you know whether you are truly ready to take the leap – to move or not to move? Let us take a closer look at the psychological factors that influence individual, couple and family readiness to become an expat.

Individual Readiness

For individuals, moving abroad and becoming an expat often revolves around personal growth, career opportunities, or a desire to experience something new – an adventure. Psychologically, readiness to move overseas may be influenced by factors such as independence, adaptability / resilience, and openness to new experiences.

Independence - Individuals who are highly independent may experience less struggles when adjusting to life in a new country, as they are already accustomed to relying on themselves for support.

Adaptability and resilience - Those with high levels of adaptability and resilience are more likely to thrive in new and unfamiliar environments, allowing for quicker adaptation to cultural and linguistic differences.

Openness to new experiences – Being open to new experiences, cultures, customs and languages

But regardless of your high levels of independence, adaptability, resilience and openness, the idea of moving overseas, although exciting, can also trigger feelings of anxiety, fear and apprehension. Fear of the unknown, concerns over leaving family and friends behind, and worries over fitting into the new environment are very common psychological barriers we have to face when contemplating to move abroad.

Ultimately, individual readiness to become an expat depends on a combination of life circumstances (career, finances, ability to acquire a visa), personality traits (such as independence, adaptability, openness) and personal motivations.

Family Readiness

For families, moving abroad calls for additional considerations than those previously mentioned. Instead of one or two people, the decision will now involve three or more parties.

Responsibility of Parents – As parents it is crucial to take the readiness of the children into consideration when considering a move abroad. Once the decision has been made, parents will not only face the same struggles, concerns and emotions as individuals or couples moving abroad, but also the additional load of supporting and caring for their children while navigating their own adaptation to the new environment. Heavier reliance on parental support is to be expected during the early stages of the move.

Consideration for Children – Children particularly may experience a wide range emotions when faced with the prospect of moving abroad, such as excitement, sadness, and anxiety. It is important to note that this differs greatly between different age groups. Babies and toddlers will adapt a lot easier than school aged children; and teenagers may struggle the most.  This is especially true in cases where the children do not speak the language of the new country.

Families may face unique challenges when moving abroad, including adjusting to new routines, establishing support networks, and managing cultural differences. Patience, resilience, and a willingness to embrace new experiences as a family can help overcome these challenges and create a fulfilling expatriate experience for everyone involved. It is also recommended to be mindful of what everyone in the family is leaving behind as an individual and to acknowledge that experiencing a loss (e.g. leaving friends/relatives behind, losing possessions, giving up hobbies) and grieving is a unique experience that some cope with better than others.

Challenges of Moving Abroad and How to Overcome Them

• Finding employment / visa issues
  The first step to moving abroad for many is to secure a job and visa. Be mindful of the visa / working rights requirements and research whether a work visa sponsorship is possible before applying for jobs.
  In Singapore for example, most companies are able to support employees with a work visa sponsorship. However, success rate of having the work visa granted depends on multiple factors such as job field, qualifications and salary. You will also have to hit a certain salary amount before being able to bring your spouse or children along.

• Cultural differences
  Experiencing cultural shock is a common occurrence when moving to a new country. You can prepare yourself by reading up on the cultural customs before moving. It also helps to keep an open mind and to make local social connections to allow yourself to experience the new country for what it truly is, and not for what you want it to be.

• Language differences
  Not being able to speak the language of the country you are moving to can be very challenging. Luckily, in many countries you may be able to get by with English both at work and outside. However to truly experience the culture and to be able to fully adapt to the new country, it is highly recommended to start learning the language even before you arrive. Apps like Duolingo or attending language classes can help you with this. You’d be surprised how much of a difference knowing the basics can make.

Couple Readiness

For couples, moving abroad is a decision involving not only individual readiness but also the readiness as a couple to take that big step. Communication, compromise and mutual support are often key psychological factors influencing a couple’s readiness to become expats.

Moving abroad for work – In many cases a move abroad is initiated by a strategic career move, often for one partner only. A strategic career move can include moving for better job prospects, a bigger role, or to simply experience working overseas. However, this often leaves the other party having to give up their career to support their partner.

Moving abroad for adventure – Seeking adventure is another common reason for couples to become expats. It is a move driven by the desire to experience and explore new countries, cultures and languages, rather than moving for strategic purposes such as career, often allowing both parties to start off on equal grounds as compared to when moving for one partner’s work.

Moving abroad together comes with additional challenges than moving as an individual. Couples must be able to make joint decisions, learn to compromise, and have a strong foundation of trust, empathy and respect. While moving together allows for immediate social support and connectedness as you are going through the journey together, it may also make the non-working partner feel lonely and isolated at the beginning, often creating a reliance on the working partner for financial and social support.

• Logistics of moving belongings, pets and finding a new home
  The logistics of moving abroad can be an overwhelming anxiety inducing experience in itself, which often deters people from moving in the first place. Consider hiring a moving company specializing in international moves, a pet travel agency to ensure smooth travels, an immigration lawyer to explore visa options and possibilities, and a property agent to help you find your new home.

• Finding a new school
  When moving as a family, finding a new school for your children should be on top of your to-do-list. Many countries have a list of school rankings you can use as a guide. It also helps to join Facebook groups for expats or parents based in the new country to get local insights into the school system. Be mindful that schooling in your home country can be very different to the school system in the new country.

Still unsure if moving is the right choice for you? Maybe you have already made up your mind but want to emotionally prepare yourself and your family? Or you have already taken the leap and would like assistance with settling into your new home? Our team of expat counsellors and psychologists can help you with your journey.