Why Expats Lose Touch with Friends and Family Back Home
by Anne Ueberbach
Assistant Director / Counsellor
Why Expats Lose Touch with Friends and Family Back Home
Moving abroad can be a thrilling adventure, offering new cultural experiences, career opportunities, and personal growth. However, for many expats, the excitement of exploring a new country is often tempered by the pain of leaving behind loved ones. Maintaining relationships with friends and family back home can be a significant challenge, leading to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and disconnection.
Learn about the psychological impact being an expat has on relationships and what you can do to manage the emotional distance.
The Initial Honeymoon Phase
When expats first move abroad, they often experience a sense of euphoria and excitement. The novelty of their new surroundings and the thrill of discovery can distract them from the pain of separation. However, as the initial euphoria / honeymoon phase fades, expats begin to confront the nuances of daily life in their new environment.
The initial excitement of exploring unfamiliar neighborhoods gives way to the practical realities of adjusting to their new life. Small cultural differences that were once charming or intriguing may become sources of frustration, and the lack of familiarity with local customs and norms can lead to feelings of disorientation. This transition from excitement to reality marks a critical turning point in the expat experience.
Common Challenges
Expats face several challenges in maintaining relationships with friends and family back home due to:
Time zone differences: Coordinating phone calls or video chats across different time zones can be difficult.
Physical distance: The sheer distance between countries can make spontaneous meetups or regular visits impossible.
Cultural adjustments: Adapting to a new culture, language, and lifestyle can leave expats feeling disconnected from their roots.
Lack of shared experiences: Friends and family back home may not understand or relate to the expat's new life.
Emotional Consequences
The strain on relationships can lead to various emotional consequences, including:
Feelings of isolation: Expats may feel disconnected from their support network.
Loneliness: The lack of regular social interaction can lead to feelings of sadness and isolation.
Guilt: Expats may feel guilty for leaving loved ones behind or for not being able to participate in important events.
Anxiety: The uncertainty of maintaining relationships can cause anxiety and stress.
8 Strategies for Staying Connected
While technology can't fully replace in-person interactions, it can certainly help bridge the distance:
Regular communication: Schedule regular video calls or phone calls to stay updated on each other's lives.
Social media: Use social media platforms to share updates, photos, and experiences.
Emails and letters: Although social media and apps like WhatsApp are the preferred communication method nowadays, consider writing thoughtful emails or letters to maintain a special personal connection.
Shared online activities: Engage in online activities, such as watching TV shows or playing games, together.
Plan visits: Schedule regular trips back home based on your financial means, or plan to host friends and family.
Stay involved: Participate in online communities or forums related to shared interests.
Celebrate milestones: Mark important dates, such as birthdays or anniversaries, with thoughtful gestures.
Create new traditions: Establish new customs or rituals to maintain a sense of connection.
4 Strategies for Self-Care and Support
Expats face unique emotional challenges that can impact their mental well-being. The process of adapting to a new country, culture, and lifestyle can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of isolation, anxiety, and stress. For many, moving abroad can disrupt their social support networks, leaving them feeling disconnected from loved ones. To manage these emotions and maintain their overall well-being, expats must prioritize self-care.
Self-care is essential for expats because moving abroad can disrupt social support networks, leaving expats feeling disconnected from loved ones and familiar surroundings. This isolation can exacerbate stress, anxiety, and depression.
In order to manage these emotional challenges, expats must prioritize self-care, which can be done by:
Joining an expat communities: Connect with fellow expats in Singapore who understand the unique challenges. Learn more tricks and tips on how to make friends as an adult expat in Singapore here.
Seeking professional counselling in Singapore: Consult with a qualified counsellor, psychologist or psychotherapist to address feelings of isolation, improve communication skills and learn how to stay connected with your loved ones overseas.
Engaging in local activities: Participate in local hobbies, attend events, or volunteer work to build a new social network.
Practicing mindfulness: Regular mindfulness practices and other relaxation exercises can help alleviate stress and anxiety.
How to Rebuild Relationships
When expats return home or visit, they may encounter challenges rebuilding relationships. Three significant hurdles they may face are re-entry shock, changed dynamics, and reverse culture shock.
Re-entry shock makes readjusting to life back home difficult. Meanwhile, relationships may have evolved during the expat's absence, altering the dynamics. Additionally, expats may struggle to reconnect with their old life due to reverse culture shock.
To overcome these challenges and re-build meaningful relationships, it's essential to take a thoughtful approach. Open communication is vital, as discussing changes and expectations helps to reestablish a strong foundation. It's also crucial to be patient, recognizing that rebuilding relationships takes time.
Showing genuine interest in friends' and family members' lives is another vital aspect. Catching up on their experiences, achievements, and challenges helps bridge the gap. Finally, re-establishing routines and reviving old traditions while creating new ones can help expats reconnect with their loved ones and regain a sense of familiarity and belonging.
Conclusion
Maintaining relationships with friends and family back home while living abroad requires effort, creativity, and resilience. By leveraging technology, prioritizing self-care, and nurturing meaningful connections, expats can mitigate the emotional challenges of distance. Remember, staying connected is a two-way street – it requires commitment and effort from both parties.
About the author
Anne is a a compassionate and experienced counsellor at The Counselling Place Singapore, who empowers her clients to thrive amidst life's challenges. Her expertise across Singapore and Australia spans mental health, career coaching, and multicultural dynamics, informed by her own expat experience and diverse family background.
Anne creates a warm and non-judgmental space for growth and transformation. Her empathetic approach supports individuals, families, and expats navigating life's challenges and transitions