New Year, New You! New Us! by Natasha Larkin
Consultant therapist
According to InsideOut Mastery*, New Year’s Resolutions are mostly unsuccessful with 43% of all people failing before February and almost one out of four quit within the first week of setting their New Year’s resolution. Most people don’t last to the end of January! The interesting news is only 9% see their resolutions through with success. The list can go on and on and on so it’s time to rethink how we have a New Year’s resolution.
In October, 2023, a recent Forbes Health survey was conducted with 1000 US adults asking them about their New Year’s resolutions. *48% wanted to improve their fitness, 38% wanted to improve their finances and 36% wanted to focus on their mental health as a top priority. Last year, it was the other way around with mental health as the biggest priority. As we are learning, physical fitness and finance management can have a positive influence on one’s mental health. I find when I am working on my fitness (which is walking and weights these days), I am always in a better mood, can regulate emotionally as well as sleep better! When I focus on my mind with meditation and mindfulness activities, I have more focus and attention to do my exercise and manage my finances. They are linked. So what is your focus this year? Is it your fitness? Is it your finance? Or is it your mental health?
Tips to consider for YOU:
The best time to set a new goal is when you are ready for change so if you are not ready, you can start any day in 2024, it doesn’t have to be 1st Jan.
Choose a goal that is most important to you. Just one! Not one that someone else wants for you but one that is on your mind for its importance.
Avoid previous goals. Choose a new goal or new approach to that goal. Ask yourself, why couldn’t I achieve that goal- is it my working hours? Is it financial barriers? Is it location? What is getting in my way? Start with a focus on those barriers by finding alternatives and solutions. Then have a breather and make the next shift when you are ready.
Make the goals specific. Be intentional. E.g. instead of stating “exercise more”, swop it to: Every morning at 6am, I will walk around the lake with my friend Kate for 45 minutes. OR “get more sleep” becomes: Every night 1 hour before sleep time, turn off all electronics and darken the room.
Start and Review. Were you able to do it? If it is a Yes, then continue. If you were not able to do it, this is also success. You not only tried but learnt something. So relook at the goal and the barrier. Do I need to start smaller? Do I need to clear my calendar? Do I need to tell my partner so they will help me? Then reset with a new goal.
Once you are doing your new goal for a few weeks, nice one as it’s now a habit. If you want to, you can look at a new one. Do it by incremental step gives you a better and higher chance of succeeding.
So how will you live your authentic self? What can we do to look after our mental health as we enter a new year? I’ve had more success making small changes and taking small steps. When I take BIG steps, the expectations become too high. I schedule one small change every few weeks. Once I’ve managed to make a small shift, then I’ll add a new one. So think about a series of micro shifts this year that will lead to an end goal instead of one big one on 1st January. It may not feel as bold as a New Year’s resolution at the time but the end goal will be more powerful with an achievement of multiple milestones.
Tips to consider for US!
After checking in on you, it’s time to check in on your relationship. Maybe you want your love to run a bit deeper in 2024? Here are some uncomplicated ideas to grow with your partner and remember to slowly start these. They may end up being lifetime changes or just for 2024.
Self & Partner care: be kind to you and your partner by offering more thank-yous’
Physical connection: when you kiss, make it a longer kiss than normal for more intimacy. When you hug, make it longer.
Communication: when in conflict, schedule a ‘resolution discussion’ with a hug at the end. Show your partner you are turning off your phone right now to show priority to the resolving the conflict. Even on date night, phones off the table.
Emotional connection: make a calendar to explore shared experiences once a month to keep things interesting and of quality. Memories can last forever. You want more good memories than bad ones. Have more fun. Relationships are meant to be enjoyable.
I believe change allows us to move forward in life and experience new and exciting times. It can bring awareness and new opportunities for ourselves and our relationships. So if it is important and feels important, then an exciting 2024 awaits.
If you are unsure of how to implement what I’ve just shared, why don’t you sign up for a session with a Psychologist, Counsellor, or Psychotherapist who can guide and coach you step by step to achieve the New You and New Us. Having professional counselling support can also hold you accountable to so that you do not become one of the statistics that I’ve mentioned before.