by Jumh Tantri
Counsellor / Career Coach / Parenting Coach

In the End, Relationships Matter Most and Only LOVE Can Sustain Them

Life is a tapestry woven from the relationships we nurture, the love we give, and the connections we build with others. At its core, the human experience is profoundly relational. While success, achievements, and material possessions can provide fleeting satisfaction, it is the quality of our relationships and the presence of love that provide lasting fulfillment and emotional well-being.

In today’s fast-paced, individualistic world, we often find ourselves caught up in a relentless pursuit of success, independence, and self-sufficiency. While these aspirations are not inherently wrong, they sometimes overshadow our deeper, more primal need for connection and love. But as many studies and countless personal experiences show, it is our relationships—with friends, family, partners, and even ourselves—that form the bedrock of a meaningful life.

The Science of Connection

Research in psychology and neuroscience consistently highlights the profound impact of relationships on mental health. One of the longest studies on human happiness, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, spanning over eight decades, revealed a clear takeaway: good relationships are the strongest predictors of happiness and health. The quality, not the quantity, of our relationships was shown to be more important than wealth, fame, or other markers of success.

Close relationships provide a sense of security, belonging, and purpose. They act as a buffer against life’s inevitable stressors. Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” is released during acts of bonding, such as physical touch, meaningful conversations, and shared experiences. This hormone helps lower stress levels, regulate emotions, and foster feelings of safety and trust.

Conversely, loneliness and isolation can have detrimental effects on both physical and mental health. Chronic loneliness has been linked to higher levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and even a shorter lifespan. It’s clear: relationships are not just an emotional luxury; they are a necessity for mental well-being.

Love: The Foundation of Sustaining Relationships

While relationships matter most, it is love that sustains them. Love, in its many forms, serves as the glue that holds relationships together through life’s inevitable challenges. But love is not just a feeling; it is an active choice and a practice.

In romantic partnerships, love manifests through patience, compromise, and vulnerability. In friendships, it is expressed through loyalty, mutual support, and shared joy. Within families, love may look like forgiveness, acceptance, and sacrifice. Regardless of the context, love requires intention, effort, and an openness to give and receive.

What makes love so essential is its capacity to heal and transform. Love provides a safe space for growth, both individually and collectively. It helps us navigate conflict, foster understanding, and create a sense of harmony. Without love, relationships can become transactional, superficial, or unsustainable.

The Role of Love in Mental Health

The presence of love in our lives has a profound impact on mental health. Here’s how love sustains and nurtures well-being:

1. Promotes Emotional Resilience: When we feel loved, we are better equipped to handle adversity. Love gives us the courage to face difficulties, knowing we are not alone. A supportive relationship can make life’s burdens feel lighter and more manageable.

2. Enhances Self-Worth: Feeling loved and valued by others fosters a positive sense of self. It reassures us that we are worthy of care, attention, and respect, even during times of self-doubt.

3. Reduces Anxiety and Depression: Love and connection can counteract feelings of loneliness and isolation, which are major contributors to anxiety and depression. Sharing our thoughts and emotions with someone who listens empathetically can be incredibly therapeutic.

4. Encourages Personal Growth: Healthy, loving relationships challenge us to grow and become better versions of ourselves. They provide constructive feedback, inspire us to take risks, and offer unwavering support as we pursue our goals.

5. Fosters a Sense of Belonging: Humans are inherently social beings. Love gives us a sense of belonging, reminding us that we are part of something larger than ourselves.

Building and Sustaining Loving Relationships

While love is powerful, sustaining it requires effort and intention. Building meaningful relationships takes time, and maintaining them demands vulnerability, empathy, and communication. Here are some ways to cultivate love in your relationships:

1. Practice Active Listening: Listening without judgment or interruption shows others that their thoughts and feelings matter. This fosters trust and deepens connection.

2. Express Gratitude: Regularly acknowledging and appreciating the people in your life strengthens bonds and reminds them of their value.

3. Be Present: In a world filled with distractions, being fully present in your interactions is one of the greatest acts of love. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and engage wholeheartedly.

4. Forgive Freely: No relationship is without conflict or mistakes. Forgiveness is essential for moving past hurt and maintaining harmony.

5. Invest Time and Effort: Relationships thrive when we prioritize them. Make time for meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and acts of kindness.

6. Cultivate Self-Love: The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life. Treat yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and love you extend to others. 

Love Beyond the Individual

While personal relationships are vital, love can also be a force for broader social change. Acts of love and kindness can ripple outward, creating a culture of compassion and connection. In communities, workplaces, and even among strangers, love has the power to bridge divides, foster understanding, and inspire collective healing.

Imagine a world where love is not just an individual pursuit but a shared value. A world where empathy guides our interactions, and care for one another is prioritized over competition and self-interest. Such a world is not a utopian fantasy—it is a possibility that begins with each of us choosing love in our daily lives.

Conclusion

In the end, it is not our achievements, possessions, or accolades that define us—it is the love we give and the relationships we build. Love is what sustains us through life’s highs and lows. It is the foundation of mental health, the source of resilience, and the essence of a meaningful life.

As you navigate the complexities of modern living, remember that relationships matter most. Invest in them, nurture them, and let love guide your actions. Because in the end, only love can sustain.

About the author

Jumh Tantri is a multidisciplinary registered counselor, career coach and parenting coach with expertise in parenting, career guidance, and mental health support. At The Counselling Place Singapore, Jumh works with diverse clients across various age groups and cultural backgrounds, offering sessions in English, Indonesian/Malay, Mandarin, Korean, and Japanese.

Jumh addresses issues such as anxiety, trauma, relationships, career development, and special needs. With over 9 years of experience, he fosters personal growth, improved relationships, and career fulfillment using evidence-based techniques.